This is my first blog at aldea. I am not one to join things, which is one reason for my sporadic attendance over the last year and a half, and why I only know about 5 of your names. However, there is something I see in you all on the staff that keeps me coming back - a genuineness (is that a word?), a way of being that convicts me that my life needs changing. I figure it is time that I start investing myself in this journey wholeheartedly, so today is my first of what I hope will be many entries.

These teachings have led me back to a fantastic book of daily meditations by Emmet Fox. His writings coupled with your teachings have really convicted me that if I am holding resentment or unforgiveness towards another human being, then I am not right with God. And, man, it has been a long time (if ever) since I have been right with God. I have been the queen of resentment. I know it is time to begin letting it all go.

I had my first fantastic run-in with conscious forgiveness on Mother’s Day, when I decided to forgive my husband for something he did two days prior; I knew it was not God’s will that I be mad at him. I forgave him, then apologized to him and we were able to salvage the remaining hours of Mother’s Day. I actually found myself thanking God for my husband’s trespass, as it brought me to a deeper relationship with God and an understanding of the journey that lay ahead.

Additionally, I was remembering something that Tom said a few weeks back regarding not judging, and he referred to standing in line behind the sorority-type girl with tons of groceries in the express lane. Today it came to me that my preconceived negative snap judgments mean that somewhere in me I am holding resentment or unforgiveness - why else would I have such a reaction if I had never experienced this thing before?

Babe is up from her nap, mamahood calls.

Peace out.