i am writing the following with a heavy heart, saddened by the news that Tom and Jared have resigned their positions on staff at aldea. faced with this news, i have decided to air some things that i coulda-woulda-shoulda said a couple months ago, but felt embarrassed to say, thinking others would find my view naive or ridiculous.

last december annette said something to my husband, erik, that changed our lives forever, and i am indebted to her as she finally opened his eyes to our dire situation and got him to jump off the cliff we were trapped on. we were on the brink of financial crisis with a house we could not afford, bills we could not pay, a job that erik despised and could scarcely muster the fortitude to get to on a regular basis, and we were not going to last one more month before we were utterly, completely broke.

the house we owned was erik’s beloved home, the one he grew up in, and his last substantial tie to the life he had when his parents were alive, his sister was well, and life was sheltered and joyful. annette said to him, “erik, consider that maybe the problem isn’t that you can only stand to work part time. Maybe the problem is that you have a lifestyle you cannot support while working part-time. Until you change your lifestyle, you are always going to be wrong, every second of the day, every where you look. you are not going to be doing enough, have enough, be enough, as long as you have this house as living “proof” that you are failing.” (my paraphrase, but you get the gist.) within a week, we listed the house on the market, sold it 3 weeks later, and are slowly digging ourselves out of the mess we stayed in too long.

where does aldea fit into this for me? when we started talking about the financial problems at aldea a couple months back, my first thought was simply, why not just sell this building if we cannot afford it? but it seemed this was not an option, as the talk from the staff seemed to be that aldea will cease to exist if we can’t keep it. so i figured i must be mistaken, that there must be something about this building that if we lose it, we fail. but maybe we just have different priorities.

i disagree with focusing on member growth in order to get more money. we claim to be a community that desires to live out the example of jesus, and i see a disconnect when we are more focused on our finances than on making a difference in each other’s lives and the lives of our fellow tucsonans. i pray that the resignations of jared and tom are proof enough that we need to change, because it is the people in our community that make aldea what it is, not a building.

maybe aldea has all the members it needs right now in order to be impactful. when did more become better? the people that currently come to aldea, myself included, are barely scratching the surface of what we dream to be about; how is a larger membership going to change that?

dave was pretty harsh at the end of our first financial discussion a couple months ago. but he was right, and it was the sting of truth that convicted me that i was not committed, that i expected someone else to do “it,” that my only thought was to show up on sunday when i felt like it, leech off dave, kevin, tom, and jared, and my part was done. how immature and misguided on my part. it is disappointing that i see a similar attitude in others as well. it’s like we want someone to chew up our food and feed it to us. if jared and tom were not enough to inspire us to truly start practicing the daily presence of jesus, to be transformed in order to touch the lives of those around us, then i believe that no increase in member population will do it.

i am committed to the dream of aldea. i believe it can become a reality, but i think some changes must be made. i ask that the staff prayerfully consider the *posibility* - however remote - that we are on the wrong path by keeping this building. is it time to jump off the cliff and let go? or is it time to fight for what we have? i understand there are many ramifications of selling, and many people would be affected. would it be objectionable to sell our building and buy a more modest property for cash - someplace large enough for renewal center to remain on church grounds - or find a donated space for our use on sundays, or rent something for a hundred bucks months, or simply hold sunday gatherings in someone’s house?

shouldn’t the thousand dollars or more we pony up each week go to something larger than ourselves? shouldn’t the money of aldea be making a difference? how are we living in the way of jesus when we are focused on money and a building more than helping others? maybe that’s not our focus; it just feels that way to me.

i can accept that people will come and go from aldea, but it would be an easier pill to swallow if i felt that aldea was living up to its potential in the midst of this. rather, i feel we are making a half-hearted attempt to authentically be examples of jesus in this world.

jared and tom, you will both be missed. losing people who are as inspiring, as committed, and shine as brightly as you is something that grieves me to a point that words do not express. there will be a void in the heart of aldea as you were both loved so deeply. best to you both and your families.

blessings and love,

lauren